Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
If the email is registered with our site, you will receive an email with instructions to reset your password. Password reset link sent to:
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service
Forgot password?
Blogs > HokieTiger > The boy with kaleidoscope eyes

Confuscious say dat fortune suck  

HokieTiger 43M
282 posts
1/22/2008 8:38 am
Confuscious say dat fortune suck
Ok, anyone who reads my blog knows that from time to time I like to get chinese food and share my fortunes along with fun little comments. Today I just have a complaint.

Do people remember when fortunes used to actually be fortunes? For about the last decade or so they have digressed to stupid slogans and bad puns. Well yesterday they hit an all time low. I got a fortune that said:

"Age can never hope to with you while your heart is young"

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT???!!!, lol

There not even a blank to put in your own verb before "with." It's quite disconcerting. Now not only do we get non-fortunes, but we also get bad grammar and incomplete sentences. Sadly I think I did get more out of it though, lol. I sat around with a couple of my friends (I was at their house) and we were trying for like 5 min to figure out what the hell it was supposed to be.

Seriously chinese fortune writing people!!! Seriously? I could so clean up the chinese fortune writing business. How hard is it to open up the tao te ching and lift a sentence or two?, lol

What's the worst fortune you've ever gotten in a fortune cookie; or funniest? Do you play the numbers on them ever?

Or...I might just be full of shit

Hope you can't help but find happiness, and pain can't find you even with help!

Check out my blog and give me a look loves hokietiger
bad_assed_witch 109F
33758 posts
2/2/2008 1:23 pm
    Quoting bad_assed_witch:
    I would rather have a one-on-one cooking tutorial with you ..

    so , what are you gonna teach me first ?
sounds good.. just an apron to cover my naked bod...and of course, a ribbon, to tie my messy , long black hair..You wouldnt want having my hair on your eyes, nose, while you stand behind me LOL
~ The New & Improved Cocksucker ~


bad_assed_witch 109F
33758 posts
2/2/2008 1:02 pm
    Quoting bad_assed_witch:
    you make yummy peanut butter cookies ! Damn ! ..

    That's the first thing I"m gonna do tomorow..Buy a packet of those godamn cookies, just to get this off my system..

    Or you can give me the recipe , so I can try my pathetic attempts at baking .

    Yeah, the chinese temple has flavored cookies , but the scent of their incense puts you off from eating..yuk !
I would rather have a one-on-one cooking tutorial with you ..

so , what are you gonna teach me first ?
~ The New & Improved Cocksucker ~


HokieTiger replies on 2/2/2008 1:11 pm:
The importance of wearing appropriate cooking attire while in the kitchen. Cooking can get messy and we don't want you to mess up your pants, your shirt, and I'd hate to get your underwear stained or caked with flour. So, we need to get you an apron and..., nope that's it... just and apron

Then we will deal with proper techniques. So, I'll stand behind you and put my hands on yours and help you with that.

bad_assed_witch 109F
33758 posts
2/2/2008 12:41 pm
    Quoting bad_assed_witch:
    I select the yummy-looking ones , of course.. I love the peanut-flavored ones best..God , my mouth is watering now..
you make yummy peanut butter cookies ! Damn ! ..

That's the first thing I"m gonna do tomorow..Buy a packet of those godamn cookies, just to get this off my system..

Or you can give me the recipe , so I can try my pathetic attempts at baking .

Yeah, the chinese temple has flavored cookies , but the scent of their incense puts you off from eating..yuk !
~ The New & Improved Cocksucker ~


HokieTiger replies on 2/2/2008 12:48 pm:
It's always something with religion, right? They make good cookies but then you can't enjoy them, lol.

I cook lots of yummy things. Sadly, I don't use recipes for any of them . I usually just cook from the gut and make it up as I go along. You can always go to recipes.cum and look for one that sounds yummy if you want ot try your hand at it...

Or... you could just hop a plane and come and get some of mine

bad_assed_witch 109F
33758 posts
2/2/2008 12:13 pm
    Quoting bad_assed_witch:
    I remember , when I was younger, my parents would bring us to a chinese temple . There was a huge jar full of fortune cookies of different shapes and flavors .Mom always told me to select the plainest-looking cookie coz she thinks that it had the best fortune..
I select the yummy-looking ones , of course.. I love the peanut-flavored ones best..God , my mouth is watering now..
~ The New & Improved Cocksucker ~


HokieTiger replies on 2/2/2008 12:27 pm:
So the chinese temple has flavored fortune cookies? I still can't get over that one.

I figured you might like the yummy ones, lol. I make yummy peanut butter cookies.... maybe I'll make some today while I do nothing later... after you go to sleep of coarse . You can dream about them .

Watering mouth huh..... that sounds mouth watering, lol.

bad_assed_witch 109F
33758 posts
2/2/2008 10:47 am

 I remember , when I was younger, my parents would bring us to a chinese temple . There was a huge jar full of fortune cookies of different shapes and flavors .Mom always told me to select the plainest-looking cookie coz she thinks that it had the best fortune..
~ The New & Improved Cocksucker ~


HokieTiger replies on 2/2/2008 12:10 pm:
OOOooooooo, I am jealous. What sorts of flavors and shapes? We only have those crappy cookies that come with chinese food. Honestly I don't even eat them. I just like reading the crappy fortunes, lol.

Did you listen to mom and take the plain cookies, or did you get the fun cookies anyways? I think I'd be a plain cookie type in that situation like your mom. I don't want the best fortune though, just mine. I am not looking to prematurely get ahead. Me is good enough, I can never do better or worse than being me ........... Unless,....... I can be with you and still be me that is, lol.

cassyleblanc 50F
3856 posts
1/24/2008 7:59 pm

 VP lives in Halifax, Nova Scotia, just like me

I can't remember the last time I got a fortune cookie with my Chinese take out.



The Bum is Back....
View My Blog Being Cassy............


HokieTiger replies on 1/24/2008 9:49 pm:
Cass, I've been around long enough to know you two are thick a thieves, lol. BTW, I also heard about your night of debauchery the other day, lol. I'm sure you already saw her post about it on her blog.

Sorry you don't get cookies. You should definitely complain. Do you get chinese a lot? I bet if you bet over like in the picture posted here they give you lots of fortune cookies, lol. It might be shameful.... but think of all the wonderfully fabulous cookies Mwa ha ha (rubs hands together), lol.

viciouspixxxie 46F
2612 posts
1/22/2008 12:56 pm

 I don't eat out any more
I laugh my butt off at the fortunes, they're always sooooo cheesy!


HokieTiger replies on 1/22/2008 2:01 pm:
Why don't you eat out anymore?

And, yes. Yes they are.... very cheesy. I love it.

HokieTiger replies on 1/22/2008 4:27 pm:
If it's the money (I know you too are a poor college girl, yes I know I'm a guy lol) I can send you to a website that has restaurant gift cards for places in your area you can look up. They sell them at like 75% off so it's like only paying 25% of your bill or less.

Is it a big region/city/place that you live in?

Become a member to create a blog