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Why is it so hard to get a man to talk about whatever it is that has him stressed out?! I mean, I get the whole, "man's gotta be a man thing" but what is so wrong with talking to someone who's going to support you no matter what, about what's bothering you? Why go through the stress and the aggravation by your self if you can at least have a friendly ear to unload your problems! I don't understand! Can you help me understand?? What is wrong with talking? How do you get a man to talk about his problems? And last but not least... What do men want?! ~ Nessa ~  |
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Well keeping with generalization, women want men to be strong, so as a man its hard to show weakness in front of a woman. Even if they ask. I've seen it happen and he might of too, where you decide to let your guard down and then you aren't respected as you once were. As human's we try not to be burned twice but unfortunately having that fear can stop us from growing. I don't know his pass or what he has been through, but I am sure that he has exposed himself to someone before and has paid the price for it. So he is probably going to be gun shy for awhile. The only way to get him to eventually talk, if he ever will, is to share your problems with him and share intimate secrets with him. Sort of like a "here I am giving you all my trust" type of thing, and hopefully that will in turn get him to start giving you his trust. It not a hundred percent plan but it may help. Other than that you just have to accept that he may not open up and just be there for him in other ways. Massages, cooking for him, or just chilling with him and helping him take his mind off what is bothering him. As far as what men want....I'm not touching that.
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You are right! I did generalize, and that's not right... I mean, he does talk and he does open up to me... but when he's really really really stressed out, he just closes up. I know what is bothering him, we've already talked about it before, his ex wife is taking him to court, suing for more child support when he's already paying more than he should be paying by the state standards... He's not behind, hasn't missed a payment, nothing... but it really stresses him out, because she does this like every 4 months or so... and he did talk to me about it... but his court date is next week, and the more that date approaches the more he closes up to me. I know he'll be back to his regular self once that's over. However I was stressed out last night and I did generalize... so, I do apologize for that. Thank you for your advice. As far as what women want? I don't know about the rest... I want someone to love me as much as I love him, I want a family, a man to hold me close at night, someone I can count on no matter what... someone who will show me his love by his actions. Someone who I can trust. Who won't lie, cheat or treat me wrong. And someone who will love my kids more than he loves me. ~ Nessa ~
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Well keeping with generalization, women want men to be strong, so as a man its hard to show weakness in front of a woman. Even if they ask. I've seen it happen and he might of too, where you decide to let your guard down and then you aren't respected as you once were. As human's we try not to be burned twice but unfortunately having that fear can stop us from growing. I don't know his pass or what he has been through, but I am sure that he has exposed himself to someone before and has paid the price for it. So he is probably going to be gun shy for awhile. The only way to get him to eventually talk, if he ever will, is to share your problems with him and share intimate secrets with him. Sort of like a "here I am giving you all my trust" type of thing, and hopefully that will in turn get him to start giving you his trust. It not a hundred percent plan but it may help. Other than that you just have to accept that he may not open up and just be there for him in other ways. Massages, cooking for him, or just chilling with him and helping him take his mind off what is bothering him. As far as what men want....I'm not touching that. He is a great listener, and I do talk to him about my problems, he will usually give me great advice, and he does talk to me about his problems... it's just when it gets to be too much, he sort of quits talking. And I really wish he didn't. ~ Nessa ~
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I know you do and I'm sorry. Just be patient with him if you can.
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2/2/2008 7:52 pm |
Most men are brought up to be the strong silent type. In time there comes a breaking point in any guys life when he has to let go and share with his loved ones or closest friends what stresses him. I know sometimes guys want the same as women, just to have someone to listen without criticism or encouragement. I strongly believe its a trust issue, and that comes over time.
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