Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > keithcancook > The Venting Blog |
A Dinner Date With keithcancook
|
A Dinner Date With keithcancook A Dinner Date With keithcancook by keithcandoslapstick A dinner date with keithcancook is more than an experience to savor. Especially on Halloween. I love to cook this time of year. Harvest time and all. When I am having a woman over for dinner, it is no casual affair. I go all out. I make sure the house is immaculately clean, (well, the front room at least). I even stock the bathroom with Charmin, (there's no eight square limit, ladies. I swear). Then there's the food. Homemade, from scratch. Saucy, spirited, and overbold. Mmm. Wait. That might have been my date. I am proud of my sauce though, all kidding aside. (yeah right, this is a Venting Blog post). Anyway, last year at Halloween, as I was waiting on a date to arrive I tried to finish up the cooking. I had like 5 burners going on the stove, and a pumpkin pie I had just pulled from the oven cooling by the window. I had pulled the pie before the timer went off, and I forgot about the timer. Just about then the doorbell rang, (my date!), and the timer went off. With the sound of the oven timer buzzing in my ears I ran to the door, and opened it. There to my horror I found a small fire burning on my front porch. Instinctively I stomped on the burning paper bag and put out the flames. Grrr! #$%$^&$ ! Hopping on one foot I tried to keep my smoking and smelly shoe off the carpet as I rushed back to the oven, flipping the switch to the timer. It began to buzz even louder, and I mashed it repeatedly to try and make it stop. It was at that moment that the phone on the wall rang. With the oven timer wailing unceasingly I hopped to the phone. Ooops! I lost my balance when I reached for the receiver. As my smoking stinkfoot came down it planted itself squarely in the trash can which burst into flames! I jumped back, as the flames shot up the wall exploding the phone. The sauce on the burner overflowed as I turned and fled out the front door. Of course my good foot stepped itself in the smoking pile of shit still on my porch. I was sliding out of control as I tumbled off the porch and into the yard. I looked up as the flames began flickering in the upper windows of my home. Flies were buzzing around my smoking feet. The oven timer droned on... The End.  Happy Halloween |
|||
|
  Those are tears of laughter. You sure can do slapstick.  
| ||
|
I would have preferred you there, too. You could have answered the door, and I could have saved my shoes!  blog on!
| ||
|
Those are tears of laughter. You sure can do slapstick. blog on!
| ||
|
"smoking stinkfoot" hahahahahahahahahhaha  Thanks Keith, I needed a laugh like that to start my day!!!
| ||
|
I hope this year's Halloween goes better than last year. I can send over a fire extinguisher!  
| ||
|
Sounds like a very interesting night for dinner.. I like cooking with my partner as well hugsssssss V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
| ||
|
Sounds like a smoking good time.. (sorry couldn't resist) Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on.. 
| ||
|
This reads like a freaking cartoon popping up in my brain, scene by scene
| ||
|
I'm so glad I put a brand new condom on the keyboard! Visit my blog It's a Mad, Mad, Mad World of NaughtyInSO, leave a comment, become a watcher. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LIVE AND LET LIVE Be happy! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
| ||
|
Setting a scene that appears to be black, but turns out to be white is a time honored literary device. Thank you, for letting me know that you liked my story. blog on!
| ||
|
"smoking stinkfoot" hahahahahahahahahhaha Thanks Keith, I needed a laugh like that to start my day!!! 
| ||
|
I hope this year's Halloween goes better than last year. I can send over a fire extinguisher!  burn on!
| ||
|
Sounds like a very interesting night for dinner.. I like cooking with my partner as well hugsssssss V blog on!
| ||
|
Sounds like a smoking good time.. (sorry couldn't resist) blog on!
| ||
|
This reads like a freaking cartoon popping up in my brain, scene by scene This means that my post worked!  toon on!
| ||
|
I'm so glad I put a brand new condom on the keyboard! Thank you, for being my muse this time.  blog on!
| ||
|
I'm guessing you googled the phrase "The oven timer droned on." It's kinda fun! "Shattered Haven", "Bullets Over Boise", " Cars from a Marriage" et al. This is hilarious, Keith! Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
| ||
|
I'm guessing you googled the phrase "The oven timer droned on." It's kinda fun! "Shattered Haven", "Bullets Over Boise", " Cars from a Marriage" et al. This is hilarious, Keith! Is this just another trick by keithcancook 
| ||
|
Your response hasn't posted here yet- the site is really funky lately- but I'll say right now that I never doubted that you wrote the phrase. But it was nagging me right away, reminding me of a familiar sentence that I still can't dredge up- not verbatim, just reminiscent. I searched it in hopes that I'd get lucky and get something to trigger my memory about what it reminded me of- no luck! I keep thinking Poe, but I can't place it. It's gonna bug me for days. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
| ||
|
Your response hasn't posted here yet- the site is really funky lately- but I'll say right now that I never doubted that you wrote the phrase. But it was nagging me right away, reminding me of a familiar sentence that I still can't dredge up- not verbatim, just reminiscent. I searched it in hopes that I'd get lucky and get something to trigger my memory about what it reminded me of- no luck! I keep thinking Poe, but I can't place it. It's gonna bug me for days. I wonder what you call a literary ear worm without a source?  I hope it's not insanity. Yikes!
| ||
|
, some days nothing goes right, maybe some one put a halloween witches curse on you
| ||
|
, some days nothing goes right, maybe some one put a halloween witches curse on you
|
Become a member to create a blog
