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Can You Spare A Square?
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Can You Spare A Square? President Obama's in Alaska to highlight climate change, and it got me to thinking about saving the planet again... I like to think that I am not a wasteful individual. That my ecological footprint upon the earth can be minimized with a bit of resourcefulness. After all, I had read on a tree-hugger website that if everyone in the world lived like a U.S. citizen, we'd need over five planets to support ourselves. So, I'm thinking I should be able to improve. To make my footprint ever smaller. (Never smaller than a size 13, though. That would be too painful). I could be a bit more conscientious recycling my garbage. I could be more diligent in purchasing products made with the "greenest" technology possible. Then I thought of my dear old dad. He taught me my earliest lesson in frugality. I can still remember him telling me that I shouldn't use more than eight squares of toilet paper per poop. Yep, eight squares. I had never really counted before, but he was pretty intent that I understood that my limit was to be eight squares. I remember a few things occurred to me at the time. First, it would be hard for him to prove it if I went over the prescribed portion.  Then, I thought that on occasion, a person had to use more than eight squares for some situations. Like, what about the times when you think your done, but after you wipe up (using all eight of your squares), you suddenly realize that you aren't as finished as you thought you were. Does this constitute a new poop? Did I earn eight more squares? Or am I SOL?  Perhaps the rules could be stretched to mean eight squares for each little log? That would make it easy. A person could crap with pleasure, complimented with a wipe up without worry.  Especially if you have those machine gun poops where they pinch out in hard little balls. Then again, that's no help really. Those hard little ones generally require less paper anyhow, don't they?  And what about if I am pooping in another place? At a friends house, or in a public restroom? Do the eight squares follow me wherever I go? (Okay, they do. But hopefully somebody will tell me there are squares on my shoe).  And, (horrors), what about diarrhea? Surely it takes more than eight in those situations. Right?  Then there is the problem of pile. No, not the poop, rather the ply of the paper. If you have 2-ply paper, then you have a real shot at the squareness. If you have Charmin, that's really good. Gawd help you if you end up with single ply. Like Scott.  In a pinch, such was the poopy pondering of that potty puppy, the young keithcancook. It's all true, I shit you not!  Don't forget to flush, and blog on!  |
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You should have been here when I was writing it!  poop on! (grey, that is)
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My dad always told me off for using too much toilet paper when I went to the toilet. I always countered, "How do you know?"!  
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Great title. I am just a step or two away from being an eco-nut. I recycle more than I throw away. I do my best to conserve energy and fuel. But my butt needs to be pampered. I don't skimp on the TP. Triple ply for me! (I do recycle the rolls.) I figure that as long as I didn't clog the toilet, then I didn't use too much.
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I'm pretty good a recycling and being eco-friendly but never skimp on the toilet paper!!! Just don't block the drains! ~~Anais Nin~~
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Well, that's an unusual subject for a post.....I remember looking thru the organic isle at Kroger one day, and I shit you not, they had "organic toilet paper" WTF????? I use as much as it takes!!!  WITHOUT PASSION LIFE IS NOTHING
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My dad always told me off for using too much toilet paper when I went to the toilet. I always countered, "How do you know?"! blog on!
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I gotta agree with that assessment, Boris. A house without plumbing is a deal breaker for me... Say, did yer teach call herself Galadriel, or some such name? More than a few of those folks from the Seventies have odd notions. Welcome to The Venting Blog! I'll see you soon for The Weekly Dose...Of Reality... blog on!
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Great title. I am just a step or two away from being an eco-nut. I recycle more than I throw away. I do my best to conserve energy and fuel. But my butt needs to be pampered. I don't skimp on the TP. Triple ply for me! (I do recycle the rolls.) I figure that as long as I didn't clog the toilet, then I didn't use too much. Ima Charmin guy. My skinny ass is all over that stuff. I reckon I can still get by with the standard eight. blog on!
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Yes, Lala. With all these things to do you could even say I was full of it.  Ok. Three things. First, poop on is grey. Second, poopicons are only a rumor. And turd, I've been adept at potty talk since a very young age.  blog on!
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Yikes! Is it possible? You are the Queen of the Earth-Huggers as far as this post is concerned! blog on!
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I'm pretty good a recycling and being eco-friendly but never skimp on the toilet paper!!! Just don't block the drains! (Maybe a bunch of clover anchored to the pot or something?) Sorry. I'm like a BlogLand sewer. I get carried away with this shit sometimes... poop on!
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Well, that's an unusual subject for a post.....I remember looking thru the organic isle at Kroger one day, and I shit you not, they had "organic toilet paper" WTF????? I use as much as it takes!!! Now you've dung it, er done it! I am forced to apologize for all this, this ...bunk that I dumped. Yes. I feel it down in my bowel. Movement is near, and a new post will be born. Somebody, help me.... pass the Charmin, and blog on!
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I do my bit with recycling as much as I can but, I will never skimp or count how many sheets of TP I use. Two things you can't skimp on...................... good coffee and good TP.  
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LMAO! Too funny but true
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Unusual? Madam, this is the stuff that gives The Venting Blog its, ah ...tang. Take this particular compost er, post. I have defecated, ah I mean I have dedicated myself to providing my readers with the best crap I can create. Now you've dung it, er done it! I am forced to apologize for all this, this ...bunk that I dumped. Yes. I feel it down in my bowel. Movement is near, and a new post will be born. Somebody, help me.... pass the Charmin, and blog on! Ever since I read this post, I've been counting the squares every time I use the bathroom!!!! Grrrrrrrr!!!! It's all your fault Keith WITHOUT PASSION LIFE IS NOTHING
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And what was the first thing to pop into my head..."No shit..." *shakes head and facepalms.*
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8 squares are just about right for me, well, that's for my #2....you know...i really don't have a huge ass hole... for my #1, i use about 3 squares...
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Don't sweat it kiddo. I'll hook you up with a couple of pertinent posts. blog on!
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I do my bit with recycling as much as I can but, I will never skimp or count how many sheets of TP I use. Two things you can't skimp on...................... good coffee and good TP. blog on!
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LMAO! Too funny but true blog on!
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Damn it!!!!! Ever since I read this post, I've been counting the squares every time I use the bathroom!!!! Grrrrrrrr!!!! It's all your fault Keith blog on!
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Here in Japan the toilets flush ones bum and nearby regions to my delight! Now I'm looking at loo roll in a different light. It's good to see you again, Bossjeans. blog on!
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And what was the first thing to pop into my head..."No shit..." *shakes head and facepalms.* blog on!
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Yeah, girls are like that. I'm gonna have to ask my sisters if they ever got that 8-square speech. I'm curious now... blog on!
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