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Night of the Cat Woman
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Night of the Cat Woman "They call me The Cat Woman," she whispered. "They're all lovers here." From my vantage point on the front porch, I eyed her two cats moving into intercept position as the latest in a parade of neighbors leashed to their pets, approached. "They won't actually attack the dogs, will they?" I asked. "They're only looking after their territory," The Cat Woman replied... Later that night, deep in the Lair of The Cat Woman, I was dreamily drowsing in her boudoir when suddenly - FWAP! I was pounced upon full on the chest by some unknown creature. "WTF!" I cried, leaping out of the bed. "He thinks you're in his spot," she laughed. "He stalked me from the headboard above, and then gave me The Chest Plunge," I said in horror. I pictured him doing a Triple Lindy before he landed, and said as much. We were both laughing now, as she put the cat out of the room, closing the door. A bit later, I found myself once again dreamily drowsing when suddenly - SCHWING! SCHWING! SCHWINNNGGHH! - an unknown creature was taking some swipes at my foot, (which was hanging off the end of her short-assed bed), and finally just grabbed on with both paws, giving a good pull. "WTF!" I cried, pulling my long legs back to the safety of the mattress. "So that's where his brother was hiding," she offered sheepishly. "I'll try to keep my feet on the bed the rest of the night," I said as I rolled over and curled up. Once again, back in dreamland, - SCREEEEEK! I was suddenly awakened by searing needle pricks piercing my body. Some unknown creature had sneaked up the side of the bed, attacking my leg on the inside of my thigh. Basically the animal just reached up and latched on. With both paws, claws flashing.  "$#&^!@@$!" I cried, leaping up once more. "I'm gonna go out back to sleep in the woods where it's safe," I thought to myself. the end.  I wonder. Have any of you folks out there been, um, - bothered - by ah, "territorial type" pets when you are a guest?  |
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I reckon you to be the first of many cat lovers who may respond to this post...  It's good to see you, kofla! blog on!
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I had a friend whose cat thought I was there for him and he'd try to hump my arm half the time. I neutered cat trying to hump something is pretty sad. Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.
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I hear ya. Being humped by an animal thing is pretty disgusting in my opinion. blog on!
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revenge is sweet One of mine has no problems attacking dogs,humans rats etc while the other is content to bite your feet,sit on your head and yep the chest plunge,just to get a warmer spot  I'm a   and i'm here to stay
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Absolutely yes, I will cheat now and plagiariaze from my own and quite ancient post from my first ( and now defunct ) blog which was titled [post 247474] here is the relevant section cut and pasted..... From my own observations I do believe that animals and at least some insects have quite a good clue about when sexual activity is taking place with human beings. The first example I'll give has to do with a dog. CJ was the spoiled dalmation owned by my ( most recent ) former GF who I believe wished he were human and if he were he'd have also been head over heels in love with his owner. I got my first clue about this when I first was visiting at her house and the dog was clearly annoyed when we began our first "mashing" session on her couch. (mashing in this context referring to electrically charged and highly aggresive "making out") Of course that mashing session did also evolve into our first full blown all night naked extravaganza in her bedroom and once we shut the door on that dog it sure had one holy hell of a fit out there. Since that relationship went on for another four years there was little CJ could do about my presence except simply get used to it. And he did adapt but every once in ahwile he would revert to his old howling habit while we were gettin' buck wild. He knew full well what was going on in there and it was obvious that he also wished he had my vantage point on the deal. insert exploding bomb image here
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My cats literally own the house I live in. The have imposed their rules too. But they are good cats. They still let me live there provided that I take care of them - even when they jump on my stomach in the middle of the night!
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hahahaha I am a crazy cat lady myself. I have three. All specially trained to be as annoying to guests as possible so no-one overstays their welcome. What can I say? Crazy cat ladies like to make sure they get their allotment of alone time. Freedom Live. Laugh. Love.
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A friend of mine had a dog who would CONTINUOUSLY try to hump my leg while I was there. Yuck! Pull My Fucking Hair! 
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When I was single my dog, a female, would chew the crotch out of any guests panties if they were left within reach... Which they usually were because of the need to get them off and to what was underneath them as quickly as possible. In those days going without panties was not as popular as it is today and I caught my fair share of hell when the crotchless panties were discovered by my guest. You probably did not realize that I was the creator of crotchless panties did you?
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I'm a dog man myself, Keith. I don't trust those sneaky cats.
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I had a toy poodle that even after she was spayed, she would hump anything or anybody or any dog within humping range. Never did break her of it. "Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened." 
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I have a cat who likes to cuddle and jump on me from the window. Qutie unpleasant way to wake up..LOL! My boyfriend hasn't stayed over yet, so I don't know how she will act when we're doing the deed. FINE AS WINE IN 2009! SWSunset64
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My cat sleeps with me when I am alone. Extra heating, in Winter. But if I have a guy in there with me, she has to stay on the other side of the closed door. Your blog was very funny.
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Thank-you for giving me a giggle with your blog, when I really needed it, this week. Also, many thanks for your kind words to me. I, unfortunately, am also a cat owner. But unlike my sister, marysia4u, I have no need to kick my cat out of my bed, for the foreseeable future.  She is my kind of comfort blanket. If you read some of my other blogs, you will see, just what she really means to me.  Life isn't about how many breaths you take, but about the moments that take your breath away!    
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Nope, one advantage of not having pets I suppose. You are a very patient lover, Kieth.
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Keith...i love cats but i do keep my bedroom off limits!!!!   []   Seduce my mind and my body
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Could have been worse... Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]
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I have a kitten..we had to put her up..so she didnt think his balls were a cat toy  I may suck-but atleast Im good at something! 
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I have a kitten..we had to put her up..so she didnt think his balls were a cat toy She'll grow out of it. (I hope so anyway, - for both y'alls sakes)! The felines of the Cat Woman accept, and love me now. (Like there was any other possible outcome... )  The folks here at The Venting Blog thank you for visiting and hope that you will return soon!  blog on!
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I pulled that photo from the cat woman's collection. It's her work. thanx but no thanx on the free pet. It's nice to see you again HG!  blog on!
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Snuggling with willing cats is vastly different from being pounced on and scratched up by pissed off ones... Nice to see you here again, nothere. blog on!
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