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| Blogs > Regularguy1845 > Solving the Feminine Mystique |
When to call it quits
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When to call it quits Hi Folks, I haven't posted in a while but I hope to get some input on a situation I have. I met this person, not here. We have me 4-5 times for coffee, lunch, chat. We had one, for lack of a better term, make out session. All above the waist, outside the clothes stuff. We had a recent IM session wherein I described what a more intimate encounter might be like. We set up an time to meet. She asked before meeting if I was expecting what I had described. I said that I expected nothing, only hoped for something like that. I also said that if nothing happened, that would be okay. I have said in prior conversations that I understood that 'no means no'. The morning of our planned meeting she said she wasn't sure if she could make it. I asked why. She said she was scared, that I expected something to happen. I reiterated that I had no expectations and whatever she wanted to happen would and if she said enough, then that would be enough. So, at the appointed time of our meeting I got a message that she couldn't come. The next day we IM'd about her decision. She said that she was concerned that I expected what we had written about. I reminded her that I had no expectation. Now in real life, I am the most non-scary guy you have ever met. I am not pushy. Many people that I meet in my professional life say that I make them feel at ease, all within a hour of meeting me. This person that I have met in person 4 times is still scared of me. So my question is, 'is it time to let this one go, say adios?' I spent the weekend thinking about this and I can't get over that someone would think that I am someone to be afraid of. She has never indicated that she had been or otherwise attacked. I don't mind being stood up, but I really can't get past someone being afraid of me. Is this a sign that maybe I'd be better off looking for someone else? Thanks for reading this very long post. Feel free to ask questions if you need more info. I look forward to your collective wisdom. RG aka the boogie man Just to clarify - I am not upset because she cancelled. I am concerned that she is afraid I would do anything that she would not consent to. TKS, RG |
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I didn't cut her loose, still pecking away at. I've decided this is just going to take time and good things come to those who wait! RG
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Well, based upon Country Slammer's and Just Looking's advice, I will give her another chance. I hear what Soft and Sweet says and Sexi didn't have all of the information, not to discount their advice. Thanks for the input. I knew the collective wisdom of the group would help. RG
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I say get over it and stop with the ambiguous messages. Games are for kids. If she has some issues, then she should say so or end it. This is adulthood and both parties should act thus. All baggage should be disposed of. Im sure this isnt what you want to hear, but this sounds like a loser situation to me. Good luck! Thanks for your insight. RG
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I think the guilt ridden might possibly be, that you're married! Gives any woman reason to be scared. And, maybe she came to her senses that she doesn't wanna date a married man. Enjoyed your post!
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I think this should be resolved on your own rather that airing it lettin' the community know that you're going to cheat on your wife if you find someone vulnerable enough. Kudos to her for NOT showing up! I also think that you come across as too eager and mixed emotions as to exactly what you want in life. My guess is that you probably have underlying motives in meeting, which wasn't to meet a new friend even though that may have been what you told the woman. Bottom line; she read between the lines.... Been there; done that. I would never put myself in that position again. Good luck.
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In reading your post, this is the geneeral conclusion that I have, personally, added up....be it wrong...totally off the mark, or a far fetched idea at best...but its mine and I'm offering it up for service to you.... Having said THAT..*chuckles* She seems to WANT to have SOMETHING happen, but in a nut shell...she isn't exactly sure WHAT SHE WANTS. Period. Maybe she's wrestling with thoughts of why's and wherefore's, maybe having some guilt ridden thoughts of why she's wanting but scared shitless of taking that last step which would bring you guys face to face-thusly-making you more REAL. Maybe she's a closet fuck me type. Where she loves the attn. that you're showering her with(safely at a distance) and she's getting what she needs from that...(whatever it IS that she's in NEED of...) but for the fact that you've been so charming when she's cancelled on you even after trying to reassure her that you're not going to devour her and toss her over a bridge...she may be complacent as to how far a guy can go with promised or planned meetings before he gets to the point you are at now. Should I continue, or move on....that IS the question. I say give her one more chance...make it a very public meeting(well not so public that you can't flirt if it comes to that...*winks*)and if she doesn't show-well-there's your sign. If she does show-and you guys either find out you hit 'er off good-then BRAVO!!! GO HARD!! But at least if you do get to meet-maybe she'll figure out that you're just an ordinary fella who's looking for a bit of huggin' and squeezin' and aren't a monster. Good luck with it all. Let your own judgement be your guide for the moving on or staying and coaxing sessions. PLAY HARD!!!! yehawwwwww
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I say get over it and stop with the ambiguous messages. Games are for kids. If she has some issues, then she should say so or end it. This is adulthood and both parties should act thus. All baggage should be disposed of. Im sure this isnt what you want to hear, but this sounds like a loser situation to me. Good luck! She broke your throne, she cut your hair, and from your lips she drew the Halleluljah. -Cohen
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