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MANual for Men
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MANual for Men I got mail with the copy of this blog. I found this hillariouly true, and decided to put in my blog as manual for male members to this site, and ofcourse a manual for you who want to bed me. Hope you enjoy and learn. I +++++++++ Dear Men, Look, I know you men have it difficult. Women are just about impossible to understand, much less please. In a post-feminist society, you never know exactly what you should be doing. Women are bloody picky, I know we are. It can be scary, too, when women freak out about what appear to be benign issues. And men who do their best to be respectful, female-positive humans, I salute you, I do. But please, please just fuck me already. Honestly, I appreciate your thoughtfulness. I like that you want to take things slow. I can totally get behind the idea of emotional connection, but dearjesusinheaven, FUCK ME. We've done dinner and drinks. We've gone dancing. We've cuddled and watched a movie. I'm wearing a low cut shirt and you've been staring at my breasts all night. Goodgodalmighty, get to it and fuck me. When we get hot and heavy, please take charge. Please, please fuck me. Trust me, I'm not going to just lie still - I'll get involved. But don't make me force your hand into my panties. That makes me feel like a . We've been kissing for a half hour and your hand keeps grazing my ass. That's nice, but it's time to move forward. Get on top of me. Don't make me get on top right out of the gate and start bobbing up and down on your cock like I'm practicing some crazy new aerobic yoga because YOU won't go down on me. Roll on top and start dry humping like a good boy should. Don't gently suck my nipples and then pull back when I moan with pleasure. You being coy is totally not what I want. It's not what WE want... OK, I know it's scary. There are lots of women out there who make fucking really difficult. So, I have compiled some handy tips. Don't think of this as complaining, or as schadenfreude for the Andrea Dworkins of the world. Just some simple tips, for timid men who have forgotten what it means to fuck like men: 1. Taking charge is not bad. Oh, there will be some women who feel that you are pushy. If you are making out with a woman, and she starts to push back, ask nicely if things are moving too fast. If she says yes, say something like "I'm sorry - you just look so fucking delicious. I'll go slower." Otherwise, skillfully move forward. If you start kissing a woman, and she responds well, and before long, you're both on the floor with her skirt pushed up, and you on top of her, it's not the time to roll onto your back and start awkwardly stroking the top of her head. Seriously, grow a goddamn pair. YOU'RE the man. Act like one. 2. Ohmyfuckinggod, please learn to respect the clit. It's different for every woman, so ask what she likes. Do not, I repeat, do not just wiggle your fingers around her pussy like you're trying to tickle her. Do not drum your fingertips against her vulva like you are impatiently waiting at the Sears Tire Center for your receipt. Do not push the clit like it is a doorbell at some house that you need to get inside of. Start by using all four fingers with firm yet gentle pressure against the outside of her pussy... Do not charge in with a single finger and start jabbing at things. And if you really don't know what to do, ask her. Just ask. "How do you like it?".. It's a simple question, and most women will answer straight out. If she's being all coy, ask "Do you like pressure? Is it sensitive?" The clitoris is a varied item, indeed. Treat each one as though you have never encountered one before. Forget everything that your last partner liked. 3. Most women like to be fucked, and fucked well. Yes, there are women out there who want to "make love" every time - sweet, gentle, rocking love with lots of eye contact and loving kisses. Those women are not the majority. The majority like to be pounded. The majority like to have their hair pulled. The majority like a good, solid jackhammering. When a woman is bucking wildly against you, it's not because she wants you to pull back and slowly swirl your cock around her vagina like you're mixing a cake batter up there. It's because she wants you to hold down her arms, or grab her hips, or push her legs above her head, and fuck her harder. Don't be too afraid of what this means as far as gender equality goes - I am a raging feminist bitch, but I still want to be penetrated like you are planning on fucking my throat from the inside out. 4. A little roughness is nice. Do not pretend that you had no idea that some women like their hair pulled. Do not act shocked if she wants you to spank her ("Really? Spanking? Won't it hurt?" - yes, it does. That's the fucking point). We know you've read Stuff and Maxim, and that's all those laddie mags talk about in their "How to Please Her" sections. Start with light, full handed smacks to the area of her ass that she sits on. Judge her response and continue on from there. You don't have to bend her over one knee and tell her she's a<b> naughty girl </font></b>and that Daddy's going to punish her; save that for the fifth date. Women are less delicate than you think, so don't worry about breaking her hip. 5. It's OK for you to make noise. Otherwise, we feel like we are fucking a ninja. Unless you actually are a ninja, and have sneaked into our rooms with vibrating nanuchaku and zippered black pajamas, please, please make some noise. If you're banging a woman, and she's crying out and saying your name and moaning, and you can't even manage a grunt, she's going to feel like an idiot. You don't have to make the sounds she is making, but do SOMETHING... You know how when you are watching porn, and the girl does something great to the guy and the guy kind of goes "Ah!", half grunt, half yell? That's HOT. Do that. Whisper our name (assuming you know it) gruffly. Groan against her neck when you're in missionary position. You don't have to grunt like a mountain gorilla, but if you are totally mute, she's going to get worried. 6. Most women like dirty talk, in addition to the grunting. If you'd like to get some dirty talk going, ask her if she likes the way you fuck her. If she responds well, continue with something like, "I love fucking you. God, you look so fucking hot." Is she still moaning in response? "Your tits are so beautiful." Does that work? If she doesn't respond well to the term "tits", you might have to stop there. If she keeps moaning or responding, pass Go and collect $200. Try the following: "Oh, god. Your pussy is SO tight." "You're so wet - are you wet because you like the feel of my cock ramming you?" "I think I'm going to come inside you. I'm going to fill up your little cunt." It doesn't matter that you're wearing a condom; we LOVE hearing this. If all of those work, you can then progress to things like "sexy little bitch" and "dirty ". Tread carefully, but please, tread. Do not tiptoe. Do not sit down. Charge... 7. You're not obligated to eat a woman out. In return, she's not obligated to choke on your dick. Don't skip one and expect the other. If you do eat a woman out, the only comment you should make about her pussy is how nice it is. The length of her labia minora, the color of her interior, her waxing job or full bush - you are not John Madden. No time for color commentary. 8. Do not bitch about condoms. Oh, we hate them. Trust us. They hurt us more than they hurt you. But we don't want to be preggers, and you don't want to catch anything, right? Don't whine about condom sex. Do not explain that you can't come with one on. LEARN to come with one on, or if not, help us figure out what to do with you once we're satisfied and it's time for you to let loose your load. 9. We really like it when you come. It's called a money shot for a reason. Watching semen shoot out of you is one of the most gratifying things EVER. However, do not assume that she wants you to jack it off onto her face. She might, but don't assume. Seeing and/or feeling you come is rewarding for us, so there's no need to deprive us of it, but please do consult us before unleashing. "I think I'm going to come - how do you like it?" is a fair question that shouldn't rob you of your testicles. In recent memory, I've been fucked by a very aggressive, manly guy, and I've been… well, fucked is the wrong term here, I've been penetrated by a total and utter wuss. Who am I going to run back to when I'm ready for my fill? Manly McHardon, that's who. |
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5/1/2009 2:25 am |
Dear Ms Sultry Flower Hmmm very nice to read about your ""personality"" I know from other of your blogs that you are also a very sensitive, sensual lady who enjoys a long ""massage"" How do you equate this gentle side of you with your proposition that you want a realy vigorous coupling? - all males of course on this site will be putting their hands and Juniors in the air in agreeance and requests to join-in. Are you saying here that this blog is just one of your personalities - maybe split personality LOL. If so you would be truly very interesting to know. The Jakarta Bules are very lucky to have you in town me thinks. Ciao
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5/1/2009 2:30 am |
I think I've done 6 or 7 out of the 9 points above. But hair-pulling is something I will never do. I know a lady who would do fellatio but will not allow me to lick her pussy. She's worried her pussy would get too wet and lose the grip. I tried several times to talk her out of it but she never listened. Any opinion on this? Nevertheless, this is a good manual a man should know,learn, and treasure.
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Dear Ms Sultry Flower Hmmm very nice to read about your ""personality"" I know from other of your blogs that you are also a very sensitive, sensual lady who enjoys a long ""massage"" How do you equate this gentle side of you with your proposition that you want a realy vigorous coupling? - all males of course on this site will be putting their hands and Juniors in the air in agreeance and requests to join-in. Are you saying here that this blog is just one of your personalities - maybe split personality LOL. If so you would be truly very interesting to know. The Jakarta Bules are very lucky to have you in town me thinks. Ciao  I have this funny projection of males of this site hands and juniors waving in the air, aduuuuuuh... scarily funny.I am in fact very interesting but seriously, not only bules are very lucky, Indonesian are very lucky too, you know... Now you just met with my other 'split' personalities.
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5/1/2009 8:18 am |
Dear Ms Sultry Flower ah yes of course I stand corrected - all red blooded males would be lucky in Jakarta and many woman also would be fantisising also but seriously it would be good to hear from the fairer sex on this - do you ladies agree with the content and meaning of Ms Sultry's blog? as a traveller in life with some mature years I like to never stop learning so await with baited breath for some of the responeses
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Some years ago, in a graduate literature seminar in San Francisco -the epicenter of feminists, post feminists, lesbisns, clitoral warriors, and so on, I asked"What do you want, anyway." A woman anawered, "Apes. Sensitive apes." A tall order!
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hhahaa SUltry, I think you and I like that same blog. Yeah..I read that too...it belongs to one of the prominent AL women, right ? 
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Thanks blue eyes - talk is great, but ultimately, the aim is action! No question that an inteligent interchange before a meet ups the chances of success!
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Thank you Sassy... hopefully this MANual help them. I
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Some years ago, in a graduate literature seminar in San Francisco -the epicenter of feminists, post feminists, lesbisns, clitoral warriors, and so on, I asked"What do you want, anyway." A woman anawered, "Apes. Sensitive apes." A tall order!
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Hmmmmmm... I am not sure I got them talking, blue. After this blog, I never get mail anymore. I might scare them for some reason, aduuuuh... I
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hhahaa SUltry, I think you and I like that same blog. Yeah..I read that too...it belongs to one of the prominent AL women, right ? MLP, isn't this lady smart or smart? I mean the lady who wrote that blog. I dunno who she is, I got that from my friend. Glad you love it, me too. I
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Dear Ms Sultry Flower ah yes of course I stand corrected - all red blooded males would be lucky in Jakarta and many woman also would be fantisising also but seriously it would be good to hear from the fairer sex on this - do you ladies agree with the content and meaning of Ms Sultry's blog? as a traveller in life with some mature years I like to never stop learning so await with baited breath for some of the responeses
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Sultry - this is no email joke - A true story, my story. I can even remember the woman who said it, a tall, curly haired Irish brunnete.
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Sultry - this is no email joke - A true story, my story. I can even remember the woman who said it, a tall, curly haired Irish brunnete.
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5/17/2009 10:11 pm |
  ...please go to see a psy IMMEDIATELY !
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8/13/2009 10:01 pm |
I love the part about fucking a ninja... had me spilling coffee on my top when I came to it. lol It is like fucking a deadfish. You do not know if they are enjoying it or simply need to find a hole to shoot into. So guys, do tell us in some form, how you are feeling...
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Nice advice... like that
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