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| Blogs > ella1966 > Ella's Ellaborations is back!! |
Hi everyone, HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!I could really use an ear!
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Hi everyone, HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!I could really use an ear! Hello to all my old "friends" on here if they are still here. Well update. Have had periods of seeing guys, had a FB for a bit, then being celibate due to depression. I joined another site about two weeks ago - yep for marrieds and you guessed it, became smitten with this guy. Of course, he is married too and really, really loves his wife and is never gonna leave them. He said outright in chatting online: "You are never going to have my heart and soul" We got to chatting and emailing and the chemistry was electric. I thought this was really gonna happen last week. But then I saw signs that he really wasn't "into me" the same way I was into him. So I told him. I told him a bit about my past and he told me that he would hurt me if we were to become involved - he says I am the type who would fall hard and would want more of him that he could give and so he just wants to be friends - he just wants to regale me with his last sexual exploits, chat, get me to be a confidante. He even suggested I leave my H (b'coz we have no ) and go to a singles dating site. I got hurt and sent a few emails and messages wanting explanation and sounding hurt and confused, but I leaving him alone and have deleted him from messenger contact so I am not tempted to offline message him or see that he is offline. I am not gonna "boil his bunny" or stalk him or be vindictive - I actally want to learn from my past!!! but I am really, really hurting. If any of you know me, I am wired up to hurt and "limer" over a guy for many years!! It seems that while women get to choose, men call the shots about the terms of a relationship if a woman wants him. It seems that while it is O.K. for him NOT to want to give his heart & soul away, he wants me to be his online friend and THINKS that somehow I can do that without giving my heart away to him in the process. Meanwhile he is fancying or doing someone else. So basically, he cannot really handle me wanting him and he has run for the hills. The THING I don't get is that HE thinks he is gonna find someone on that extra-marital site who wants NSA/casual fun, yet he has said that he hasn't been able to have an extra-marital relationship with anyone he hasn't felt an emotional connection for. I guess he can still play, and feel some sort of connection to someone but not give his heart/soul away. I just DON'T geddit???????????????????? Why is it SO bloody hard? |
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9/14/2010 5:48 pm |
I have been in similar situations. Don't let it get to you about him. Oviously you have shown him that you cannot handle being just friends. I was in a situation where I knew that my heart would always be with the other woman, probably the same way you feel about this gentlemen. Time will heal...good luck 
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