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Get loose and goof a little slice of life  

40Deuce 46M
4633 posts
4/14/2017 9:31 am

Last Read:
4/15/2017 1:56 pm

Get loose and goof a little slice of life

Samsung finally ponied up the new TV they promised me and I have to say 55 inches is a lot more than I was expecting (TWSS) . Also because I don't really pay attention to , well anything , I just found out that Samsung phones burst into flames and Samsung TVs can be used to spy on you . Once again I have made a wise consumer decision !

Did you know you're supposed to unplug your TV if the<b> temperature </font></b>is under 50 degrees ? I didn't . Although it doesn't seem like that would come up much - how cold do you let it get in your house ? Of course since my furnace breaks every year it's probably happened here a few times .

I don't know for sure if I've ever actually shopped at Wal-Mart before today . I get why people like it so much , I got an HDMI cable for 4 damn dollars ! That's literally insane . Literally . I also see why people like to make fun of it so much because there are poor people there and poor people are gross and should be mocked by the societal betters .

My first Affairlook friend claimed to really be into "people watching" and one time I asked her "so you mean making fun of people right ?" and she claimed it was not that . So one time I go out to the bar with her and her friends and it was just non-stop mockery of the people around them . After that she admitted that people watching does basically just mean making fun of people and it was a realization that made her sad . Which made me sad because I wasn't trying to be moralistic , I was just being pedantic . That gal was an orgasm machine I tell you what . It's weird how women work . Some never have orgasms , other's get them at the drop of a hat (literally if it's a sexy hat) . It doesn't seem quite fair . But then if you're a woman who has a lot of orgasms are you going to donate some to the less orgasmically fortunate ? I doubt it .

Speaking of making fun of poor people I've mostly stopped watching John Oliver since the election because it's mostly just "TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP FUCK !!!" now but I did watch an episode the other day about gerrymandering and at the end they made the point that democrats kind of fuck themselves over by flocking to the same places , to some degree they're gerrymandering themselves . The dude being interviewed said "Until we can make places like Des Moines and Raleigh and Columbus cool the democrats are going to have problems" which led into a funny bit of mock outrage about Des Moines not being cool .

I noticed that my soap in addition to say "for external use only" also says "for use on hands only" and "not for ophthalmological use" . Which seems redundant - I mean if you're only supposed to use it on your hands I think we can safely assume you're not supposed to rub it in your eye . Also who's going to intentionally put soap in their eye ? I'm sure it's some kind of BDSM thing , soap play . The point is what is the deal with this soap where it's only safe for your hands ? Why can't I wash my face with it ?

I did care at all about Thor Ragnarok until I found out they're incorporating the Planet Hulk storyline into it - now I love it the most ! Well not as much as Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 but still quite a lot . When I was a lad loved the Incredible Hulk but as I got older I drifted away from what is a pretty limited character for storytelling - but the Planet Hulk turn was good stuff . Although I still think it would have been better if they lured the Hulk into the rocket with a pizza .

"Hey Hulk , you want some pizza ?" then WHAM ! Shot into outerspace . The Silver Surfer is probably not going to show up in this movie though , which is a bummer not because I care about the Silver Surfer really but that was a sweet part of the story .

Do you ever do that fun thing where the same person almost crashes into you 3-7 times in the parking lot because they're going between cars and the wrong way and so forth and generally just making one bad decision after another ?

When someone cuts me off in traffic or whatnot I try to keep my cool because everyone makes mistakes , no reason to assume that person is an asshole who does that kind of thing all the time , but when you've IDed someone as a asshole that's different . That's when I want to slingshot a beehive into their junk .

Remember that movie Candyman where the dude from Night of the Living Dead gets killed by bees ? Of course you do . Anyway , in the story we're given to believe that smearing him with honey somehow incites the bees to kill him . Which doesn't make a lick of sense really . Why would bees sting into their honey ? Do you punch your food before you eat it ? You do ? Well you're a freak , but everyone else doesn't . I'm not sure how you get bees to kill people . I'm sure you can pheromone them into doing it somehow - pretty sure that's how the CIA got leader of the Indonesian Communist Party back in '67 .

I'm still working on my Beetlejuice , Bloody Mary , Candyman , Biggie Smalls action/adventure team-up script . Beetlejuice is the wild card/comedy relief/face , Candyman is the muscle , Biggie is the brains , and Mary is the woman .

Speaking of dumb scripts being at the doctor's office the other day reminded me of the one I wrote where the dude goes to the doctor and the doctor starts acting all weird and eventually the police show up to take the dude away , he runs , and progressively finds that more and more people are after him - culminating with his picture being all over the place and citizens being urged to turn him in right before he finally gets home - where his wife betrays him and hands him over to the military . He's flown to a secret Himalayan palace-fortress where it's revealed there's a dude who can control minds , who runs the world - although mostly he just let people do whatever as long as he gets whatever he wants all the time . But the protagonist has some mental idiosyncrasy that makes him immune to the mastermind's powers - which is why everyone was after him .

It's a weak script , there's basically no third act and no good way to end it , but it would make for a killer opening to a trailer where the dude says to his woman "You ever have one of those days where you feel like the entire world is against you ?" and then super sweet jump cut to all these action scenes of people trying to get him .



Huh , I guess that's it .


Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.


40Deuce 46M
5725 posts
4/14/2017 9:32 am

When you're grading this blog remember that I'm super sick - that increases the degree of difficulty

Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.


goodatpoetry2 74M
16552 posts
4/14/2017 12:39 pm

Soap only for hands? . What about wrists? . Fore arms?
Where exactly do you draw the line?

And why not feet? . They're kinda hand like.


40Deuce replies on 4/14/2017 2:22 pm:
The feet are the hands of legs like the eyes are the groin of the head

smartasswoman 66F  
35813 posts
4/14/2017 1:58 pm

I'm gonna spy on you with your new TV. Woohoo!


40Deuce replies on 4/14/2017 2:23 pm:
You're in the CIA ? I don't think you're supposed to talk about that

wickedeasy 74F
32404 posts
4/14/2017 3:04 pm

A-

and seriously it would have been an A except i didn't care for the bee segment.

but i had at least 5 laugh out loud moments and several serious nods which maybe you meant to be lols but then, everyone reads for themselves so stop judging me.

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


40Deuce replies on 4/15/2017 8:08 am:
I should have moved the bee segment to the B slot

superbjversion2 69F  
24388 posts
4/14/2017 4:46 pm

Next time someone picks on Detroit (murder capital HA) I'll just tell them to move up the alphabet a notch to Des Moines!

btw - if you find someone that wants to donate an orgasm or two I am currently orgasmically impoverished

Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!


40Deuce replies on 4/15/2017 8:09 am:
I tell you what orgasmically impoverished would be a pretty good name for a blog

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