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A Few More Things I Need To Open Up About Myself Phase One
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A Few More Things I Need To Open Up About Myself Phase One Over the many years, I have been accused of having certain phobias by many, mostly , who know . These phobias are in regards to anything sexual and the opposite sex. However, I have found these to be absurd and even also, a form of ignorance on the part of them, mostly people. I have been accused of having Genophobia (a.k.a. Coitaphobia and Erotophobia), which is the fear of anything sexual in regards to normal<b> sexual intercourse </font></b>(where the man inserts his erect genitals into the genitals of a willing and consenting female), but this is not true. one time, when I was still a the age of , I experimented with this by putting my hard-on into the pussy/cunt of another , but there was no movements made by me as I was unaware of moving my cock back and forth and didn't learn about this until I saw my first porn movie. It was simply an experiment and that is all that it was. It did feel good for me to do that as I found out how it felt to have my cock inside a 's cunt. Another accusation made was that I had Eurotophobia, which is the fear of female genitals. This is also not true. I only performed oral sex on a /lady twice in my life. Once when I was a I licked a little 's pussy because she wanted to and then the next time was a bachelor/stag party the age of 28, when I did it again and almost made the stripper come. She said that I did her like a pro. She made me see that I had the ability to please a woman in that way and didn't realize it. I have a feeling that I may have a fear of intimacy? Though sort of, but not too sure. It's just that I've been used many times by many people, both and female, and many ladies used for my emotions and also, for my , even though many males have as well. There have been ladies who played games with my emotions and even times, wanted to ruin me financially. I am always afraid that I might meet an abusive lady who only wants me so she can play games with my emotions. I have been hurt so many times in my life by ladies and by men. always scared of getting hurt again by a lady. I was always saying NO to possible relationships of impulse and also, offers for sex with ladies. I was afraid that after my virginity was taken away, I would get dumped after that and feel like I was being used simply for my virginity. Once virginity is gone, it's gone forever and there's no way of getting it back. Plus, as a result of the Jehovah's Witnesses teachings of sexual things, I held onto my virginity for so long. still a virgin today the age of 49. I would love to get my identity back and maybe one day, finally lose my virginity to someone who won't dump me like a potato after that. I also struggle with erectile dysfunction as a result of my avoidance of sex and anything related to it as a result of all the rigorous religious teaching, the sexual abuse that I endured and also, the physical and emotional abuse that I endured, including, but not limited to, the bullying that I endured through my early junior and senior years, although I did have a wonderful senior year where I was a popular guy and made a lot of friends to where I was the big man on campus, but I still remember all those years of being bullied and even almost losing my life when I was chased into the path of two oncoming cars one Saturday night in April of 1987. As stated previously, I was also the victim of physical and emotional abuse at the hands of my own father when I was in between the ages of 8-9 as he repeatedly physically beat and abused emotionally by not letting express myself nor even letting explain my side of the story when miscellaneous things happened. I even have a feeling that afraid of commitments. Again, not too sure. I have never really had the opportunity for any commitments when it comes to relationships of that sort. However, as a result of all the mess that happened to me, which includes all of the abuse, physical, emotional, and religious abuse and also, being dehumanized by all of this abuse, including all the harassment of the bullies and as a result of it all, I feel totally messed up and confused as I really don't know what is right or what is wrong in regards to sexual matters. I've heard so much of this and so much of that, which has caused me to not know which bridge to cross or what choices to make. I still struggle with erectile dysfunction, which is mostly emotional, but there are a few health issues as well, but I can still get a morning erection, which happen within the wee early morning hours and I can still get hard or near hard by manipulating my genitals, but at times, the feeling of ejaculation can come way too soon before it reaches full hardness. This is simply something that I have to get worked . I am just hoping that I can do it without any drugs or something. I may need sex therapy, but don't know where to get it within the area where I live. This is why reaching to all of you and maybe one or some of you can help me. Any help is good help right now. Hopefully, one day, I can meet someone who is a therapist in this regard and maybe hopefully, point me in the right direction. still hoping for that day to come and for that person/therapist that would like to and also, can help me. More to come. Stay tuned. |
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