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Divore is final!!!!
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Divore is final!!!! A lot has happened in the past few weeks first of all I will start off with the good news my divorce and custody is final I am a free man with the girl WOOOOOHOOOOO!!!! It has been a long time coming but it is finally here that is a big weight off my shoulders. So all you women out there I am officially single so you better look out hehehehe!!!! Now the bad news. Last week I went up North to clean out the house and get it ready for sale. My God she had a lot of stuff and since she is still in the rehab place I had to pack her stuff by my self yikes!!!! After taking a load to the local women’s and ’s shelter and a big load to the store she still had a pile of stuff. A friend of mine helped me move it to a storage place after I got it packed up and we were both amazed at what she had accumulated after living up there for 3 years. I don’t know if anyone reads madeline1959 blog but she prepares estate sales and she talks about going through peoples lives and all that has been accumulated over the years. I was constantly thinking about that while I was packing her stuff and could not but feel a little sad for her and how she through her life away like she did. And for what I know our marriage was going down hill after she moved up there but her life could be so different now well and mine too. The first day I was up there I went to the rehab place and talked to her consoler first for about an hour. Basically it seems like she is not in full compliance with her rehab yet almost like she is faking it which is sad for her because she is in a position now to turn her life around and to be a good mom again for the girls. After talking about her the consoler asked me, “What are you doing for you?” Hmmmmm I had to think about that for a second because my whole life things pop up shit happens as it were I usually asses the problem analyze it and come up with a solution logically. I NEVER dwell on “Oh poor me!” useless waist of time. Like when I had my diving accident and was in the hospital I knew before they told me that I would never dive again, I knew like it or not my life has changed so what do you do sit there and sulk or take that first step and get it over with. This has been hard but I have lived one day at a time and kept stepping forward. Like the old saying goes “some people are born to greatness others it is thrust upon” I am the thrust upon guy. Well I told her, “Hmmmm bought a boat!” hehehehe. Now they brought in my X and the consoler told her and I told her that the courts will request that she go to a half way house to finish her recovery. She was very agitated by that accusing us of keeping her away from the girls on purpose. Holding back the urge to smack her right there I first pointed out that is was her that made the decision to use meth and her actions are what are keeping her from the second I want the girls to have their mom back the real mom the mom before the meth. I pointed out to her the things the girls really saw how they saw her using several time how it was very important to me that they never witness that again. So we settled on her seeking a half way house and starting as soon as she could to continue her treatment. I went back to finish packing and I also we investigating half way houses and the best one had a 1 year waiting list. Others had waiting lists also but they were not as long. A few days later I get a call from the probation officer saying a bed opened up in one of the best places in the state and that they were getting her ready to go there. Wow things were working out Hmmmmm so I thought. The next day I talked to her consoler and she told me that the X refused to go and she would take her chances with the court system. What a dumb ass she had it the best place in the state and turned it down she is not ready to quit. The consoler, probation officer and I all think she has been in contact with her boy friend. It is out of my hands. So I finish packing and cleaning and go home hoping for the best. Now her court date comes and after the recommendations of the rehab place and the probation officer for her to continue to get help on a half way house the judge gives her 7 days in jail 5 days served so all she got is 2 days in jail and she is free to go. It is almost like the judge knows she is going to Florida so she will be someone else’s problem MINE! Geeee thanks! I am devastated like someone kicked me in the stomach. How could they do that knowing of her addiction? I talked to the probation officer and she just got transferred but told me she would be available for any questions they have and told the prosecutor that she recommended a half way house. She was as surprised as I was. But that dose not help me. So at this moment I am not sure of her intentions right now she could sell her old car and be in Florida by the weekend if she wanted to. And she might. Could she steel the girls? She might. Why? To get even with me because it is all my fault you know. Will she start using again? I am almost positive. I may have won the battle but I hope I don’t loose the war. I am not out of the woods yet. Life is so full of interesting isn’t it? |
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9/7/2007 10:55 am |
thrust on... congrats! Now take good care of you and the girls..be well..  TTFN
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9/7/2007 2:09 pm |
Jim, So wished there was something i could do to help........... you need to take care of you and those precious girls of yours........ try to worry, know that is hard, but no news is good news, you are doing everything you possibly can do to keep those girls happy and protected, you know you call anytime day or nite my dear !!! Stay safe and major hugs !!!!! ♥ Pam ♥ ♥  ♥
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Reach for the best feeling thought that you can have in YOUR HEAD ...you can not do or think for her. You can make choices for what you want your life to look like without her tearing you up emotionally. Forgive her and put the energy into other things that you can do something about. Everything starts in the mind, JD. Everything. Everything. You can't say anything about her mind...only yours. Sending you love... Now go have a great afternoon with the kids! Get your mind OFF of it for 30 minutes. One minute at a time if that is what you have to do. Things will change. Guarantee you. So think about what you would like them to look like. Sometimes you just have to see beyond what is in your face to manifest it! xo Just a little food for thought............. If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you... {=}
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Many battles yet to face. One down, a big one. Relish it for now. Let your local officers know of the potential problems. Let any day care know, school and the girls. Just say if mom tries to go on a trip with you, you need to shout and scream. I will PRAY she doesn't try to do that to you. Peace!
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Many battles yet to face. One down, a big one. Relish it for now. Let your local officers know of the potential problems. Let any day care know, school and the girls. Just say if mom tries to go on a trip with you, you need to shout and scream. I will PRAY she doesn't try to do that to you. Peace!  Sounds like you have all your bases covered. Glad you are enjoying this battle won!!! One day at a time is how I lead my life. Enjoying each joy along the way! Peace!
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You are a truly amazing individual. They way you deal with life's curve balls (one day at a time), with courage and understanding is truely a gift. You are setting a wonderful example for your girls. They are lucky to have such a wonderful role model and father! SkierChick  
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9/11/2007 11:03 pm |
Congrats on the divorce .... but sorry to here that the ex is a meth user.... oh dear oh dear.... I wish you all the best now, and for the future. Hang in there Sunshine..... you are Special Cinders If you take your eyes off your goals, all you see are obstacles.
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9/15/2007 7:51 pm |
I am glad your divorce is final, so you can put the stress of that process behind you. And I am sooo glad for you that the girls are with you. I hope your ex makes the right decisions and doesn't use your girls to hurt you. CE  "All you'll get from strangers is surface pleasantry or indifference. Only someone who loves you will criticize you." - Judith Crist, crack film critic
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How damn frustrating!!! You will not lose - you've been doing everything right and she is probably just going to get herself into trouble and locked up. I'm sorry she is not taking better advantage of this opportunity to clean up. I'm happy for you that the divorce is final. At least you have some closure! Big hugs and kisses {=} {=} {=}
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Congrats on the great news and hugs and understanding for the not so great news... You know it will all work out for you and the girls don't you? I do... Frangi x
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